Anyone who ever saw the TV comedy The Young Ones or the film Shallow Grave will know that living in a house with people other than your family can be a potential nightmare.
Cleaning
One of the most contentious areas when living in a shared household has got to be cleanliness.
Make a roster. Some people find these restrictive, but it's a fair system and if you work it out well beforehand, it can really pay off. It's up to you how you arrange it: you could make sure each person takes responsibility for one room or alternate all the jobs that need to be done. However, it is essential that everyone sticks to the plan, otherwise half of you will feel resentful and the others will feel guilty. Sometimes it can be difficult to keep up with the roster due to changing circumstances, so factor in some flexibility - think about taking turns for having a week off, for example.
Come to an Agreement
Think about the problems before they arise, come to an agreement and stick with it. Here's how to deal with a few problem areas:
- Music. Think about what music your flatmates like. And of course - more importantly, ask them what music they don't like. No one will appreciate you blasting Genre X at volume 11, whatever time of day it is. You are not a mobile disco.
- Make sure you avoid arguments about the bin by making a rule about it. The first person who finds a full bin throws the bin bag out. Always check if you are running close to the end of the bin liner roll, otherwise it's overflow time. Playing 'Bin Buckaroo' just isn't clever or hygienic.
- Toilet roll gets used up quickly in a shared household, and so you have two options - there is a rota whereby one person buys a huge pack of loo roll before the other pack runs dry or each person has their own supply. (Remember with Cairns Central Sharehouse toilet roll is included in your rent)
- Avoid being locked out by safety-conscious flatmates, by leaving a Post-it note on the inside of your front door saying that you'll be back late (if you get lucky?).
Mixed Sex Sharing
There was a time, probably in the mists of the 19th Century when young single people only shared with others of the same gender. But people don't segregate themselves anymore, which is probably a good thing. For the most part, there is little difference between mixed gender arrangements and single-sex sharing. Romantic trysts between roomies will tend not to occur, because people generally don't feel comfortable living casually with a person they're attracted to. And while there may be heightened concern about privacy, all the usual rules about being considerate apply here. Knock first when approaching a closed door. And don't walk around the house completely starkers. If you haven't already, buy some casual wear that you can throw on easily.
The only place where modified behaviours are necessary is a shared bathroom. The 'up or down' toilet seat issue can become a source of tension, so it's best to discuss it upfront. Also, women are not generally used to seeing shaved hairs in their sink in the morning. And men may be surprised by all the space taken up by women's personal items and the amount of time women can spend bathing and preening. Same goes for men incidentally, some of whom can spend an inordinate amount of time on their hair.
As with all tensions between housemates, a combination of compromise and understanding is in order. If everyone keeps their roommate's feelings in mind, shared living with mixed genders can be surprisingly comfortable. And it can also arguably be good experience towards one's (perhaps distant) future negotiations with the ultimate mixed gender household - the family.
Paying Bills
The best way to deal with them is decide what costs you're going to split (from utilities to toilet paper) ahead of time, preferably before you move in or immediately afterwards. The phone bill always seems to be a problem for dissent in any shared household. ('OK, somebody called Timbuktu.. 'Fess up..') So if at all possible, get separate phones. Mobile phones, different lines, calling cards, whatever. Otherwise ... ready yourself for conflict.
- Remember with Cairns Central Sharehouse electricity and toilet roll etc are included in your rent)
Not Communal Food
Buying your own food and keeping it on your own shelf is only fair when you're living in a shared household. If you have any kind of dietary restrictions (medical, religious, or simply lifestyle choice) it's probably best to buy and keep food separately.
Borrowing and sharing food can be rather tricky - it depends on the people you're living with. If it's someone else's foodstuff and it's hard to obtain or expensive, best not to touch it without asking. Likewise, if you have a dietary restriction and want to buy your food separately - do just that. Don't filch from your housemates thinking, 'Oh, they have plenty since they buy it in bulk'. That's not always the case.
Communal Food
For some, though, there is nothing more depressing than opening a fridge and finding four different bottles of milk and three different bits of cheese and trying to remember which one is yours... that's just wasteful. Doing the communal cooking thing can be a pleasant, sociable thing to do; it's usually a good laugh, and you'll probably end up eating things you'd never think of making for yourself. It can also work out to be reasonably cheap, especially if you have room to cook extra portions and have a freezer. Plus the practice will make you all very competent chefs.
Final Advice
If all else fails, then take this advice:
I always used to make sure that I ate quickest, slept least and drank the most...
A N Other – Backpacker circa 1992
